Recommended Books - Resolving Everyday Conflict (The Peacemaker)

I don't know about you, but I really struggle with conflict. As difficult as it is, conflict needs to be faced in order to be resolved. The problem is we do not always address it in a way that is gives us a sense of peace or is helpful (instead of harmful) to others.

Some of us ignore it, brush it under the rug, and hope it goes away. But this often enables another person to continue harmful behavior while bitterness, resentment, and anger bubble just under the surface. A single spark will cause an eruption and often a vengeful response.

Some of us become aggressive and seek to deal with conflict right away but often without much gentleness and a lot of misunderstanding. We wonder why people we often seek out to resolve a problem go running the other direction, meanwhile we label them as "dysfunctional" or unhealthy.

Resolving Everyday Conflict is a very short and simple book that gives four basic principles to resolving conflict in a way that fosters change and reconciliation. It is basically a shortened version of the very popular and excellent book The Peacemaker. Both are written by Ken Sande who has founded Peacemaker ministries as a result of the popularity of these books. It doesn't just follow Biblical principles laid out by Jesus, but Gospel principles that work to change our hearts to be more like Christ and be agents of peace and change in other peoples lives.

The book covers the 4 "G's" of conflict:
- G1 is Glorify God - bring God into your situation and seek his guidance and help to bring resolution and peace (this doesn't mean using him to rain down judgment!).
- G2 is Get the Log Out - own up to your part of the conflict (the step most frequently skipped).
- G3 is Gently Restore - help others own their part of the conflict (probably the most misused).
- G4 is Go and Be Reconciled (perhaps the most difficult).
The four principles sound simple on the surface and rather elementary, but if we are honest with ourselves, many of us are stuck in the third grade when it comes to resolving conflict. We might get 2 out of the four and that only with partial credit.

Sande asserts that the way we often try to make peace is to use some authority, whether our own or God's, in order to say why the other person is wrong and needs to change. We often believe our judgment of the situation is the right one. We overlook our own faults or we misplace them. We need to stop thinking we can change them or that they are a hopeless cause. We don't have God's perspective on the whole thing. He does desire to use us to be a catalyst for change in others. But let him do his job and you do yours. We have to acknowledge we contribute to the problem and begin with confessing our own sin and contribution. It doesn't matter whose portion is bigger, a speck in your own eye should always look like a log to you! Then by God's grace we may gain a hearing to gently point out the speck in another person's eye. This is difficult to do but we have to be gracious and we have to have their best interests in mind. Lastly, we must forgive and pray that the other person is able to as well and thus be reconciled.

It may sound like a step by step process. It isn't. Its an art. But it is gospel art woven by God to reveal his glory, the sufficiency of his Son, for our good. I hope you check out Resolving Everyday Conflict and find peace in all your relationships through Christ Jesus.

From Pastor Jason: Memorizing the Mundane

Perhaps you’ve given it some thought. Perhaps you’ve already cast the opportunity aside … not your thing. Or maybe, just maybe you’ve already got Matthew 5:1 memorized. At first blush this verse may seem simple enough; if not in length then certainly in content. What’s the big deal? Jesus saw a crowd. Then walked up a mountain (more like a big hill). And then sat down. What deep truth could we possibly glean from such a non-miraculous verse? What’s the point in memorizing such a simple set of words? I’m glad you asked.

One of my favorite things about the Bible are verses just like this. It’s not impressive. It’s not memorable. It’s not the good stuff. It’s set-up and context. What Jesus is about to say is arguably the most important address in the New Testament. But in my mind the simple, mundane, casual, and forgettable details of Matthew 5:1 make his sermon that much more viable for us today.

Today, when you go to church there’s a very good chance when it comes time for the preacher to preach he will stand. Or when you’re at school, when the teacher teaches, she or he stands most of the time. Very few take a seat. However in Jesus’ day it was customary for the rabbi or teacher to stand while he read from Scripture, but then to sit down when he was addressing the crowd. And so it brings life and authenticity to the stories of Scripture such details are present. Like when Jesus read Isaiah in the temple and rolled up the scroll … then sat down. Or when Jesus saw a crowd and walked up a big hill … then sat down.

When we memorize the mundane we are compelled to remember ... this really happened!

- Pastor Jason 

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Work Day at Dwell - Coming up this Saturday, January 18th at 10am. We need your help to whip the church into shape! We also need to know how much coffee to make and lunch to buy, so please shoot an e-mail to office@dwellsj.com if you plan on being there!

Family Meeting - the Google Doc sign-up sheet has been fixed so you can actually add your name to it! Yay! We need not only food sign-ups but also set-up, tear-down and more.

Men's Retreat - Dwell men, this is a great time to retreat and do manly things in the mountains...like foosball and worshipping the Lord to the sounds of the Dwell Christian Church All-Dude Worship Band. Click here for more info. $30 deposit due to Jean Prats by Feb. 3.

From Pastor Jason: Bible, Bible, Bible

At Dwell we really love the Bible. And this year we want everyone at Dwell to grow, grow, grow in their affection for Scripture. In my experience there is no better way to fall in love or back into love with Scripture than simply opening the Book. That’s why we are encouraging everyone to read through the Bible together this year. That’s why we are encouraging each of you to memorize Scripture as a church this year. Our reading plan has just begun … but it is never too late to jump on board (check out the reading guide here). And our memorization of Matthew 5:1-12 will begin this Sunday. Please join us!

As we open up the Word together more and more I know each of you will benefit greatly. I know all of us will only grow in your appreciation for the sixty-six books that form the Bible. But I do have one warning. There is a subtle yet profound difference between loving the Bible and loving God. It’s good to love the Scriptures. But that’s not the end of a Christian’s affections. After all, the text exists to highlight the majesty and goodness and nature of God himself. So let’s not stop at enjoying a book; may we fall in love or back into love with Jesus this year, together.

See you on Sunday!

- Pastor Jason 

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P.S.
- Dwell Work Day coming up next Saturday, January 18th. More info here.
- Family Meeting scheduled for Sunday, January 26th, directly following service. Come have lunch as a Dwell family (lunch provided!), praise God for 2013 and look ahead to 2014!
- Remember to avail yourself of our church blog for all kinds of interesting resources and news that your pastors put together just for you!

Explaining the Bible Reading plan

The Bible reading plan we are promoting at our church this year is a slight modification of the classic M'Cheyne reading plan. His has about four passages each day designed to have you read through the Old Testament once and the New Testament and Psalms twice. It is broken up into two passages for family reading and two passages for personal reading. It begins with Genesis 1 and Matthew 1 and just moves to the next chapter each day.

Our modification is basically to just use the first two passages for family reading this year, and then next year use the second two passages. If you follow it you will read Genesis through 2 Chronicles, Psalms, and the New Testament this year. Next year you would read all the Wisdom books and Prophets, Psalms, and the New Testament.

A wonderful resource to give great insights into the passages each day is DA Carsons "blog" For the Love of God. It is basically his 2 volume devotional book that follows the M'Cheyne reading plan. He provides reflections on one of the four passages each day.  You can follow it here.

Hope you have a wonderful time reading!

The What and Why of Membership

Church membership is often a sticky subject. So naturally, when we encourage people to take our Identity class and a requirement for membership - the question gets asked, why membership?

I think there are two concerns behind the question. 

The first is that membership is not a biblical concept. The thought is that if a subject does not appear in the Bible than it is either not a biblical concept or that the Bible has nothing to say about it. Therefore, one does not need to be a member of a church in order to honor God. Membership then is a foreign idea to faithful Christianity and thus not required but just traditional "religion."

There are a lot of subjects the Bible does not appear to talk about - dating for example. But to conclude the Bible has nothing profitable to say about it is to read it very narrowly. This usually is a statement from ignorance, not from careful study. Additionally, what we believe and do as Christians is also the result of 2000 years of believers' experience of salvation in Christ. There is 2000 years of material of believers who have wrestled with the implications of the gospel. Good theology draws the implications of the gospel not just from the Bible but from the history of the church.

Careful examination of the New Testament reveals the first Christians clearly knew who was a part of the church and who was not (Acts 20, Eph 2, 1 Cor 12, 1 Tim 3). When Paul refers to the "whole church" the leaders must have had a way of knowing if everyone was there or not and whether they were a real member (1 Cor. 14:23). Numerous passages that give commands to how all people should be treated also include language that says, "especially among those of the household of faith," (Gal. 6:10). Passages that talk about expelling someone due to egregious sin must have been formal members who were expected to live otherwise (Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Cor. 5). The reality is, in the New Testament, there is no such thing as a Christian who is not a member of a local church. In the early church after the New Testament was written, they probably became more strict about membership not less, especially in times of persecution since some members sold others out to protect themselves. The question was whether someone who denied Christ and betrayed fellow believers to death could be received back into the church. Suffice to say, it required some serious repentance and reconciliation. The bottom line is to not participate in the life of a body of believers is to not participate in the life of the head of the church, Jesus Christ. God has ordained that Christ operates by his Spirit through the local church. Being a member of a local church is part of what it means to be faithful to God.

The second objection is a fear - a fear that membership is a means of controlling people or of being legalistic and imposing a certain way of living the Christian life on others. Some people I have known object to membership because they have simply been burned by other churches or believers. They do not want to be hurt and they do not want someone to lack grace in helping them with their own temptations and struggles. This is where I think the obligation of pastors, elders, leaders within the church to care for the flock well, to serve people with love, grace, truth, and mercy is imperative (1 Pet. 5). It is not to "lord it over them." It is not to control church members but to be a vehicle for helping people experience freedom and love in Christ. I think some fear that if they are not a member they will experience more grace in their battles with sin than if they were a member and accountable to other people. They won't be vulnerable to being judged and criticized. Sometimes sheep bite and they bite hard. Some of these concerns are legitimate but to abandon community for fear of being wounded comes with the price of abandoning love which requires community.

Biblically, the lone ranger Christian is not better off but worse off. To commit oneself to a body of believers is actually to have greater access to God's grace through his Spirit among his people. In the Old Testament the greatest form of judgment was to be "cut off" from the covenant people of God (Gen. 17:14; Lev. 7:27; and many others). In the New Testament Paul speaks of believers leaving the body has being "handed over to Satan" (1 Cor. 5:5; 1 Tim. 5:20). The reality is, if you want help to grow in your faith and experience more help and grace in your battle with sin, the best thing to do is to commit to being a member of a local church. We all need community and we can't just have any community. We need a community that embodies the faith, hope, and love of Jesus.

Membership then is simply to admit you need others to help be a better disciple of Jesus. It is to formally commit and covenant with God and others to love him and people better. It is to admit you cannot do it on your own and you need a place to find mercy, grace, freedom, and love in Christ. Membership is important then for us to be unified body of believers, to be a faithful people, to submit ourselves to others as we submit ourselves to Christ. Membership is therefore not something foreign to the Bible, but something that couldn't be more biblical.

For more helpful articles on this subject check out the following links:
http://download.redeemer.com/pdf/membership/biblical_basis_for_membership.pdf
http://theresurgence.com/2011/07/06/is-church-membership-biblical
http://www.9marks.org/journal/church-membership-holding-body-together


- Pastor Chris

Previewing Spring Classes at Dwell

Beginning in January we will have a new round of classes prior to our first service. We will have two rounds of them from January through May with breaks in-between.

January 5th through March 16th

Identity 1.0

This is a class we require for membership but one does not have to commit to being a member to take it. In the class we cover major beliefs of Christians with a focus on ours in particular. I have always had fun with this one and it has been one of our most popular classes. This is mostly a theology class with a little bit of an overview of our approach to ministry towards the end. We address topics like the Trinity, Incarnation, the church, sacraments, Bible, Sin, Salvation, and Eschatology (heaven, hell, new heavens and earth).

Catholic Epistles

This is what we call all the letters not written by Paul - James, Hebrews, 1-3 John, 1-2 Peter, Jude, and Revelation. Over the course of two months all of them will be covered and most of them only in one day. Hebrews and Revelation will get a little more treatment. This is a great one to drop in on a particular day if you are preparing for personal study, leading a small group or discipleship relationships through any one of these books.

March 30th through May 25th

Identity 2.0

This will be a new one I have had it in my mind to do. Some have asked for a follow up to Identity. So this is part of my response. Traditionally, many Christians in history have done a "what we believe" training for believers (Identity 1.0) and then a "how should we live" training (Identity 2.0). This class will basically walk through the 10 commandments, always with an eye to the gospel, but how the gospel enables us to live in manner worthy of the Lord. This is a class on Christian ethics. We will discuss lots of "hot topics." Sexuality, bioethics, consumerism, family issues, birth control, work, human life from cradle to grave. Should be quite interesting. I've got some serious preparing to do!

Early Israel

The second round of overview of books in the Bible will cover Joshua, Ruth, Judges, 1 & 2 Samuel. We may move on to the Pentateuch (Gen.-Deut.) after that. It just depends on how the schedule and whats going on with our church. We may do something totally different for a few weeks.

Looking forward to it. If you are interested in any of these you can contact me or the church office.

-Pastor Chris

From Pastor Jason: Three Things to Look Forward to at Dwell in 2014

1. Understanding and Using Your Gifts. As a leadership team we’ve learned a lot about our church in the past year. Particularly through the Natural Church Development assessment, we’ve discovered our collective need to understand and use our personal gifts. So this year I hope each of us will not only be able to say “I know how God has uniquely gifted me” but also “I am using those gifts to honor Jesus and love our church community.” More details will be coming at our Family Meeting on Sunday, January 26th at Noon. 
2. The Bible. In 2014 I want to see everyone grow in their understanding and appetite for the Word. And so we will be organizing a church-wide reading plan and memorizing Scripture together. Each month we will produce a reading plan that will guide us through the Bible, two chapters a day. Additionally I encourage everyone to memorize a few key passages that we will be studying this year. We’ll add a verse a week so hopefully it will be an easy pace for those of us who don’t memorize very often. 
3. The Same Ole’ Thing. I know exciting, right? But think about it. This is a brilliant truth about Jesus and his gospel and our mission … it stays the same every day, every week, every month, and every year. Though we hope to grow more and more in our understanding and faithfulness to these truths, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. This ought to give us a great sense of confidence as another year begins. 

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• This Saturday at 10am, help out with taking down Christmas decorations...you WILL be rewarded with pizza!  
• Church work day is coming up January 18th. If you like tearing down, ripping up, organizing and giving away, then we hope to see you there. More details soon. 
• Family Meeting - Sunday, January 26th at noon, immediately following our service. Food and family business, praising God for the year that was, and looking ahead at 2014.